Brain Good Good

The world of Chinese infomercials is a carnival of crazy. A good place to start your exploration of what’s sold on TV here is with an understanding of the language. While ‘infomercial’ is most commonly translated as 商业信息片 or 电视购物节目, there are actually several ways to express this meaning in Chinese. One of those alternative forms is 名人导购电视节目, which translates into ‘famous person giving shopping advice television program.’ It is important to place this in the context of cultural character; Chinese people learn from and are inspired by models (at least to a much greater extent than Americans). Chinese history is teeming with literary, philosophical, and military figures that until today are held in great esteem, and deservedly so. Government leadership and model workers/factories/villages/cities guide behavior and establish standards. In my opinion, with regard to concepts of family, general conduct, fashion, music, and television, there is a much greater sense of unity in what’s ok and appropriate in China than in the West. For instance, just about every adult Chinese male - whether in the countryside, second-tier city, or Beijing - wears the same belt and shoes. I referenced this in an earlier post. Also, at least 95% of all the teenagers/young adults that I’ve engaged with have asked me if I watch Prison Break and/or Gossip Girls. With only a couple dozen channels, most of which are dominated by terribly repetitious historical dramas, censored news reports, low production value soap operas, and music events, it’s no surprise that when Chinese TV broadcasts exciting infomercials (featuring famous people, of course) with promises of a more comfortable, profitable, and enjoyable life, people listen and buy.

The advertisement campaign conducted by 脑佳佳微电脑醒脑助记仪 (literally, ‘Brain Good Good Clear-Mind, Memory-Help Microcomputer), or just 脑佳佳 (Brain Good Good), is no exception. While running on a treadmill at the gym, I was forced to watch the ridiculous stunts and listen to the outrageous claims of those selling this product on TV (there was no remote within reach and I was in a groove, unwilling to get off the machine and manually switch the channel). After I got home, I decided I needed to do some research. How did people who bought this contraption, which promises all sorts of mental growth by flooding your right brain with α waves, react?

Before I go on with what I read in some Chinese online forums, I think you may get a kick out of knowing what this product promises. First, Brain Good Good says that your right brain is responsible for thinking in terms of images and has 1 million times the memory capacity of your left brain. So, whether or not a person is intelligent, artistically creative, and mentally agile all depends on the exploitation and activation of the right brain’s function. Employing the principle of 同频共振 (‘in-line resonance,’ whatever that is), Brain Good Good will apparently pump your right brain so full of α waves that you will no longer have problems with memory, stress, insomnia, mental fatigue, or paying attention. Brain Good Good will 让学习不好的孩子提高成绩，让学习好的孩子更优秀, increase poor students’ success and make good students even more excellent! All this can be yours for $75-100 USD and 15 minutes a day (not to mention the outstanding chance of having your head disintegrate!). I have no idea how when problems like killer milk, poisonous toys, counterfeit/unsafe medication, and exploding cell phones exist, people are still willing to shell out hard-earned cash for something like Brain Good Good!

Anyway, on to people’s reactions:

“Deceitful! I bought one and it doesn’t do a thing.”
“The production area is unknown and necessary accompanying materials are unclear or simply non-existent.”
“Totally false advertisement”
“If this thing really worked, you would see it being sold everywhere. Use it once and you’ll know, ‘forget it,’ it’s not worth spending money on. Just tell you kids to work harder!”
“I’m a city high school student and last year my parent’s bought me one. There weren’t any obvious effects except that my head hurt (it didn’t really hurt…just a little).”

I read about 100 comments in 3 or 4 different online forums and the content was all the same. While cheap goods in China (and some not so cheap) are fun and all, let’s hope in the near future there will be some serious incentives to force quality- and safety-control.